Do your self expectations hinder your from Savoring your dream?
You can be doing exactly what you’ve dreamed of, worked day in and day out to achieve, and yet when you get there...
You find yourself dissatisfied, frustrated, angry or even depressed.
Why?
Take a look at your self expectations.
If you are not living up to the standard that you have set for yourself, you will constantly see yourself as falling short and when that happens?
You got it – all those emotions come flaring to life.
Those emotions stem from failing to meet your own self expectations.
Let’s look at an example.
A client of mine got married later in life after spending years yearning to meet that someone special and then found herself dissatisfied with her marriage. She loved her partner but she found herself being frustrated, angry and then depressed over the relationship. When we delved into it, it wasn’t anything her partner was doing. It was her own expectations of herself regarding marriage that was causing the issue.
Things like:
I expect myself to meet my partner’s needs before my own get met, I expect myself to take care of my partner, I expect myself to do whatever I have to to make sure my partner is happy even if I don’t like it or it’s not in my best interest, etc
These were ideas that she had developed over the years of what the “perfect” relationship should look like and she made them into self expectations.
Once we identified these expectations that she held, she realized that it wasn’t possible for her to live up to this idea of perfection and that it wasn’t healthy for her or her partner for her to do some of these.
She talked with her partner and realized he didn’t expect these of her.
And the most important realization?
SHE DIDN’T WANT TO EXPECT THESE THINGS OF HERSELF.
She established NEW expectations for her relationship and it changed everything. Suddenly, she was meeting those expectations and it created a sense of fulfillment and joy.
Self expectations can really trip you up.
Have you ever really examined yours? Do you understand what you expect? Are they realistic? Are they even what you want for yourself?
I challenge you to look at those areas of your life where you are experience disappointment, depression, anger or unsatisfaction and evaluate your self expectations.
You just might find that by revising your expectations of yourself, you alleviate the issue.
I'm here to help. Schedule a session, and we can look at them together!
https://www.essencehealingrc.com/scheduling
Love you all.
- Sarah
Comments